He had the World
by Looking4YouAgain
Summary: OneShot MarkRoger obviously. Hard to summarize bascially Roger loves Mark but Mark thinks he's waited long enough for Roger's love and now Mark doesn't want it.


-1I own nothing. Song is 'She had the world' by Panic At the Disco.

**He had the world**

_He held the world upon a string  
But He didn't ever hold me  
Spun the stars on his fingernails  
But it never made him happy  
Cause he couldn't ever have me_

He said he won the world at a carnival  
But he could never win me  
Cause he couldn't ever catch me

I, I know why  
Because when I look in his eyes  
I just see the sky  
When I look in his eyes  
Well I, just see the sky

"Mark?" Roger whispered in the darkness as he stood in the doorway of the young filmmakers room. His slender fingers pressing against the cold metal door that was slightly off its hinges. "Mark?" he tried again creeping his away up to Mark's bed.

Mark raised slightly from his bed when he felt a familiar presence above him. He tiredly opened his eyes to see Roger with his shaggy hair askew and his bare chest illuminated by the moonlight that peeked from the sheer curtains looking down upon him.

"Roger" Mark yawns and stretches before sitting up all the way, leaning his back against the cold wall behind him "What're you doing?" he asked sleepily.

Roger fidgeted under Mark's gaze, even in the pitch darkness Roger could identify those beautiful blue eyes he had fell for years ago. Truth was Roger he had made mistakes with Mark in the past things he regretted and things he wish he could do over, do it right this time. Roger came to see Mark that night, to hold Mark in his arms and be close to him, he had took this for granted way too many times.

"The lights went out" he started, it was a lame excuse.

"So? You can't be afraid of the dark" he said maybe a little too coldly.

Roger sat next to Mark on his bed heart pounding in his ears as he slowly placed his hand on Mark's knee through the paper thin sheets and slipped Mark's hand in his. Mark stared at Roger through the darkness , the moon being the only source of light given. Mark wanted to pull back but instead gave Roger's hand a small squeeze.

"You should go, Mimi might get worried" he stated and pulled his hand out of Roger's grasp.

Roger sighed. Mark would do this every time he even tried to make Mark re-consider a relationship with him. He would flip the conversation back on him and in the morning act like it never happened.

Roger looks right at him and scoots closer to him "I was thinking about you" he said softly, stroking the side of Mark's face, his hand trailing down his neck. Softly stroking his neck, Roger knew just where and just how to touch Mark. Why wouldn't Mark let him love him?

"Yeah?" Mark questioned shyly

Roger laughed into the crook of Mark's neck, his breath tickling his neclinek as he began to kiss there "Yeah. It seems as if I do that a lot lately ever since I moved in with Mimi"

Roger cursed himself for uttering her name, he shouldn't have. Mark pushed him away. Never mind how good this felt, how much this turned him on, Mark fucking pushed him away. He untangled himself from Roger and put distance between them. This hurt Roger deeply.

"Its really dark out" Mark said breaking the silence

"I brought a candle…we could-" Mark cut him off

"The moonlight's fine" he told him getting up and standing by the window, pushing the curtains aside and gazing out. Roger followed suit coming from behind and wrapping his arms around Mark's naked torso. This felt perfect. This is what Roger had been missing.

"Mark" his voice came out in a raspy whisper "Let me kiss you" he breathed out.

Mark turned around in his arms and looked intently into his eyes letting the moonlight wash over them "No"

Mark only says no because he knows that Roger doesn't love him. How could he love him. And why now? Why this very moment? Mark thinks. He was always there from the beginning why didn't he see him at the start. What makes him so different in Roger's eyes now that he's deserving of Roger's love. He doesn't want Roger's love if he has to wait in line for it.

What does Roger need to do to prove to mark that he wants him and only him. He's hurting inside. Roger let his hands slide down Mark's waist as he looked towards the bright moon filling the midnight sky.  
_  
The sun was always in his eyes  
He didn't even see me  
But that boy had so much love  
He'd wanna kiss you all the time  
Yeah, he'd wanna kiss you all the time_

"Mark" Roger cries and turns Mark's face towards him " Don't hurt me like this you know its true…you've _always_ known it"

"You don't love me Roger" Mark confessed truthfully "You're just passing the time...go back to Mimi…please" he turns away but Roger doesn't let Mark out of his grip.

"Do you love me Mark?" Roger has tears forming in his eyes and Mark knows its only for the best to tell him this, no matter how painful it might be.

"I could love you if I knew how to lie" he whispers not looking at Roger at all afraid of what he might see.

Roger pulled Mark close and embraced him tightly "I'm happy here. Please" he begs "Don't push me away Mark. I feel this…_I know_ you feel this" He pressed his lips to meet Mark's in a chaste kiss. He cups Mark's cheek in his hand and stares at him "I feel this, You can't deny it Mark" he said caressing the side of his face and placing a kiss there "Tell me you feel this" He whispers softly in Mark's ear.

"I don't feel anything" Mark looked into his clouded eyes and it was true. He didn't feel a thing.

_I don't love you I'm just passing the time  
You could love me if I knew how to lie  
But who could love me?  
I am out of my mind  
Throw an old line out to sea  
To see if I can catch a dream  
_

_I, I know why  
Because when I look in his eyes  
I just see the sky  
When I look in his eyes  
Well I, I just see the sky_

_Spun the stars on his fingernails  
But it never made him happy  
Cause he couldn't ever have me_


End file.
